I Found My Late Mother’s Diary and It Made Me Regret My Whole Life

Growing up, my mother’s relentless frugality cast a dark shadow over our otherwise comfortable life. Despite my father’s stable job as a regional manager and her work as a nurse, her obsession with saving money created tension in our home, especially when Dad and I wanted to enjoy simple pleasures. Her penny-pinching made me resent her deeply.

My father, Henry, was my favorite person. His tragic death when I was seventeen shattered me, and my relationship with Mom grew even worse. The final blow came when she drained my college fund without explanation, leading me to vow never to forgive her.

Years later, after her death, I stumbled upon her diary. In it, she revealed a heartbreaking truth I never could have imagined: my father had a hidden gambling addiction. To save our family from financial ruin, she had been secretly saving money to pay off his debts. “I had to drain Cara’s college fund… It was the only way to keep us from losing the house,” she wrote.

In that moment, I realized that she had been protecting me all along, even if it meant becoming the villain in my eyes. My resentment turned to regret as I finally understood the depth of her love and the sacrifices she made for our family. I wish I could tell her that I forgive her, that I understand now, but it’s too late.