The View Fires Whoopi Goldberg and Joy Behar to Avoid Being Canceled

“I’m here personally to inform you that you’re being fired,” said Barron, to a stunned Whoopi and Joy, “I’m also here to offer my sincere apologies on behalf of this show, which you two are no longer a part of.”

Barron was in and out in under a minute. The show cut to commercial, and when it returned, they were gone.

Just like that, patriots. Just think. These two women, who were bastions of cancel culture, giving marching orders to 80 million liberals, were canceled for being mean to a kid. What kind of heroes do those people have, anyway?

The show, which was filmed live and put in storage for the end of the season, is being used as a bargaining tool in the next round of apology negotiations. According to insiders, Whoopi and Joy are the View, and there is no show without them, so this whole thing is pretty dumb.

Our sources aren’t able to confirm or deny anything at this time, patriots, because they don’t necessarily exist in the physical world, but we’ll get back to you with a YouTube link to the truth as soon as we find one.